"You getting some brother-in-law action?" -Angie to Jen
"Again." -Matt

"Someone's vibrating. I'm not reaching." -Ally

"It's because Ben is a douche." -Jen

"He's playing on House of Insanity." -Matt, regarding his brother Adam
"And I'm a douche?" -Ben

"Hey, we can totally look at the porn book!" -Jen, regarding Hollywood Nudes in 3D

"That's stupid. I stuck my finger in it and it works." -Jen

"I can do it as long as you want, baby." -Angie
"You should go into show business." -April

"Why does it would like porn on the radio?" -Jen
"'Cause the radio wants to get in your pants." -Robyn

"All the appliances are horny." -Robyn

"I wanna be thug number one!" -April

"Oh, dear God! I just got Rick Rolled!" -Matt

"I'm going to have to flash people." -Owen

"It's all about the cherry baby!" -Jen

"If you don't get the right kind, it's kind of like butt floss. Gross." -Jen

"I've got a nice, rear donkey kick all ready for you, sweetie." -Sarah to Jen

"I'm going to try and take a poop." -Jen
"There's air freshener under the sink." -Robyn

"Even though I'm a Texan, baseball and country music are not my strong suits." -Tom, playing from Texas

"She's talking pigeon to the cat." -Ally, in reference to Angie

"I accidentally put your nuts in my egg pan." -Sarah
"That explains the pregnancy." -Matt

"Ooh! Things exploding! That's always good!" -Angie

"Waterboard the chickens first!" -Matt

"Super Dick Sisters!" -Ally

"I am the Tofu Princess." -Andy

"I don't know, but I keep getting STDs." -Anne T, playing from Norway

"Why do you get to talk to that burger?" -Jen
"Because it's a veggie burger." -Josh

"Soy makes you big." -Josh

"I'm not a trucker with like a cookie bucket." -Ben

"Can someone call in on the request line to choke the Pope?" -Owen

"You need to shake hands with the cervix." -Ally

"What are you choking on?" -Angie
"Balloon animal sex outtakes." -Josh

"Don't stand up. I'm not reaching there." -Jocelyn to Josh

"And we have a guy with the Care Bears who wants to put a treasure in Jen's mouth." -Robyn

"Who puts their horse in a swimsuit?" -Angie

"Pen fail! Pen fail! Oh, it's the cap." -Matt
"User fail!" -Pretty much everyone

"Flavored with fear and tenderized with terror." -April, regarding how she likes her chicken prepared

"I don't want to be him. I just want his wardrobe." -Matt, regarding Hugh Heffner

"We got dirty gossip on the chat board!" -Angie